GEORGE BUSH SAYS HE WAS A SWEETHEART OF A PRESIDENT

#####

Parody by Chimpplanet

“I don’t understand why everyone seems to hate me. I did so much good for Americans and the world during my eight years as dictator, ahem, I mean as president.”

“I fixed the American and world economies and it only cost the taxpayers a little over a trillion dollars – a pittance.”

“I turned a horrible country like Iraq into a beautiful tourist destination and only had to kill two million Iraqi men, women and children terrorists to do it. The American cost was under a trillion dollars and less than 5,000 lives.”

“I made our justice system much simpler by doing away with warrants and evidence and the need for lawyers. Now, we just arrest the guilty, make them confess by waterboarding and give them a life sentence. So much faster and simpler.”

“If an American is not sure what he or she did on a certain day, all they have to do is ask our NSA. We know every move you made and whom you spoke with and what you said or wrote. It makes life so much simpler.”

“The Palestinians have been trying to steal land from Israel, so we figure, if all Palestinians are wiped out, the problem will end. We just allow the Israelis to kill a few thousand at a time as we don’t want to create a plague or overburden the cemeteries. If enough children and women are killed, there will be less and less Palestinian adult terrorists.”

“ I personally increased the wealth of my family, myself and all those working for me. Just ask Dick Cheney what I did for his baby, Halliburton.”

“All in all, I have no regrets. Of course, there are many other similar positive things I’ve done and maybe I can discuss them at a future time. Like education, social security, Medicaid, 9/11, etc.”

“You ungrateful Americans, after all I’ve done for you. I know history will look back on me as the greatest emperor, I mean president of these United Staes. Bring ‘em on!””

#####