Monday, October 19, 2009

God Approves New Bible For Republicans Only


New Conservative Bible will eliminate 'liberal' text

If Andy Schlafly has his way, there will be no socialists or snake handlers in the Bible. No woman caught in adultery.

And, definitely, no Stephen Colbert.

Schlafly, founder of, wants to save the Scriptures from liberals with his latest venture, the Conservative Bible Project.

Schlafly, the son of national political activist Phyllis Schlafly, says a conservative Bible should be masculine, for example, using the words mankind and man rather than more inclusive language.

It also should shun terms like laborer or comrade. It also should put a free market spin on the sayings of Jesus.

Take Mark 10:25, where the King James Version says, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God."

Liberals have used that passage to attack the wealthy, Schlafly said. The Conservative Bible substitutes "a man who cares only for money" for rich man.


God only speaks to Republicans:

1. One of the delegates, Nabil Shaath, who was Palestinian foreign minister at the time, said: "President Bush said to all of us: 'I am driven with a mission from God'. God would tell me, 'George go and fight these terrorists in Afghanistan'. And I did. And then God would tell me 'George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq'. And I did." (July 2003)

2. There, waiting to talk to Mr. Bush, was a group of about 60 local Amish, one of whom had made a quilt for the visiting President. Mr. Bush shook a few hands, tried on a straw hat, and then made his announcement to the small crowd.

"God speaks through me," he said. (We're not making this up. This story was first reported in the local papers, including the Intelligencer Journal and the Lancaster New Era, on July 16, 2004.)

3. Sarah Palin has called on people to pray for the cooperation necessary to build a natural gas pipeline across Alaska, labeled the U.S. mission in Iraq a "task that is from God" and argued that students should be taught the creation account from Genesis in public schools.

4. On one occasion, Sarah Palin asserted that the Iraq war was part of “God’s plan”.

And on another occasion, she suggested that a $30 billion gas pipeline in Alaska was “God’s will”.

How does she know what God’s intentions are? Does God speak to her?


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