Putting your penis in a steel pipe requires an exit plan

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"Whoa, baby, it's my first time!"

Staff at Southampton General Hospital in Great Britain had their hands full recently when a man – described as being approximately 40 years of age – dropped by the emergency room seeking assistance in freeing his penis from the throes of an obviously over amorous stainless steel pipe.

The man – who at this very moment is sitting before a magistrate seeking a name change – offered no reason behind his embarrassing predicament.

But to his credit, Lord Humpsalot avoided lame excuses and didn’t attempt to blame his actions on some sort of clumsy vacuuming episode.

An even bigger problem arose when medical personnel were unable to help Uncle Winky and his owner due to restricted blood flow in the, uh, affected area.

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