They Started It:’ The Best Justification For Holy War In Ten Years

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Yes! This should be our only offered reason for any of the nine or ten million profound foundational fuckups currently blowtorching the country into a real-life cartoon of death: “They started it!”

As in, we’ll put whatever Jeebus codes we wants on our Muslin-Exterminating Freedom Guns, because “they started it,” the Holy War formerly known as the War on Terror. No detention for us; suspension for them! Oh goodness.

Note how Steve Doocy hesitates just before saying it, too, like “oh god I can’t believe I am passing on this evil private comment of my wife’s to the entire teevee and Internet.”

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