It's the Stupid Sex, Stupid

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Last year, Bristol agreed to become an ambassador for the Candies Foundation.

"I am so happy to have this opportunity to work with The Candie's Foundation on spreading the message of teen pregnancy prevention. I feel that I could be a living example of the consequences of teen pregnancy." Palin added, "If I can prevent even one girl from getting pregnant, I will feel a sense of accomplishment."

Candies is the company that purveys hooker-wear for teens with mixed messages like its “Be Sexy Tees” line. (Get it? Be a sexy tease? Funny!) The tee shirts, which come in a range of sizes, from skin-tight to super skin-tight, say, “I’m sexy enough...to keep you waiting.” (Get it? She’s sexy, but since she’s a “good girl,” she won’t give it up. Except that, statistically speaking, she probably will.)

Candies wants to help fight teen pregnancy, but not in any way that might actually, you know, work.

Its whole strategy is to tell teens to wait.

Wear sexy clothes, but don’t have sex.

Just don’t have sex. Its page of “tips” are all about sex -- not safe sex, mind, you, but how most teens who end up pregnant hadn’t really considered the consequences of sex. So, you see, just don’t do it, and then you won’t have that problem.

Naturally, Bristol is the perfect spokesperson for this campaign.

Because even though she had sex, and we all know it, there’s no law that says she can’t pretend she didn’t have sex and that her vows of abstinence won’t be true in the future.

And that’s exactly what she's promised -– before God and her mother and Oprah and everyone.

"I'm not going to have sex until I'm married. I can guarantee it."

And when pressed by Oprah, she insisted that her pledge is not unrealistic because, dang it, this time she means it.

Why does this matter? Why should anyone care what Bristol Palin has to say about the weather, let alone about sex?

Because Bristol Palin embodies the kind of counter-productive, over-politicized and downright stupid policies that have led to an increase in teen pregnancy rates for the first time in a decade.

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