"Dick Cheney said today, he supports gay marriage. I think he only supports gay marriage because he sees marriage as a form of torture, but anyway, he supports it."
"Despite opposition from the public, President Obama says he's determined to close the prison at Guantanamo Bay. To make sure Guantanamo Bay closes, Obama said the new warden will be the CEO of General Motors."
"How about that Dick Cheney? He's really quite busy here lately. He's talking. He says now that Saddam Hussein, listen to this, think about this, Saddam Hussein, who used to be the guy running the show there in Iraq, said Saddam Hussein had nothing to do with 9/11. Whoa. And to get that information, Cheney admits that he had to waterboard himself."
"How about that Dick Cheney? Do you remember Dick Cheney? Now here's a guy we didn't really think much about until he goes hunting one day. And everything changed. I mean, he became Dick 'Kaboom' Cheney. He is now saying that Saddam Hussein had no connection with 9/11. Well, no harm done."
"And Cheney now is criticizing the Obama Administration because they're trying to close Guantanamo Bay. He says they don't have a clear plan for closing Gitmo. That's what Cheney says to the Obama Administration. And I was thinking, well, you know, Cheney is right, because that Iraq war thing was so well thought out."
"Rush Limbaugh said today he might change his mind about something. I'm like, what?! He said he might support President Obama's nominee for the Supreme Court. Wow! Sounds like someone got a new prescription."
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