Alaska Day pictures by Freaking News (PHOTOS)

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MORE Alaska Day pictures by Freaking News HERE

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Sarah Palin Teases Running For President: I Have That Fire In My Belly

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The Brainless Bimbo Party

Sarah Palin is probably the last of the 2012 presidential candidate poseurs. Now that Trump and Huckabee have given up the teasing charades, and Gingrich, Romney and Pawlenty are clearly in, Palin is milking her last moments left in the sun before she inevitably bows out.

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Los Angeles Times Calls Sarah Palin ‘Special-Needs Case’

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This is an extremely exciting editorial in that it says something a) that everyone already believes but b) is about Sarah Palin, so Sarah Palin is somehow going to try to get David Letterman fired over it, and then call him a child molester.

Anyway, please enjoy this excerpt from the column that will cause Palin’s fans to painstakingly cut out each advertisement in the Sunday paper and then try to “send it to Twitter” by stuffing it in the ‘puter’s drink holder. Never Forget!

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Even Republicans And Fox News Finally Tired of Sarah Palin

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This doesn’t mean she’ll ever have to actually work for a living — there will be infomercials for adult diapers, live appearances at regional strip-mall openings and other low-rent ways to bring in enough money to keep her far more comfortable than she deserves.

But even Fox News is about to drop Palin from a lucrative on-air contract, as her nails-on-chalkboard voice and jabbering nonsense have never translated into ratings for the cable channel.

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Palin Starting To Tease About What Her 2012 Trainwreck Would Look Like

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Some of Sarah Palin possible running mates

The Republican presidential race has barely even begun to receive any news coverage, but even that level of attention is bothersome to Sarah Palin, who is used to 50% of all political news being about her unemployed life.

But Palin has figured out a way to redirect some of this attention back to herself without actually stepping into the race:

IF Sarah Palin ran for president, she would base her operation in Scottsdale, Arizona, near Bristol Palin’s recently purchased foreclosed meth palace.

Sarah Palin on her way to the White House

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Sarah Palin parents ‘sleep with guns’ due to threats

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Chuck and Sally Heath, the parents of US conservative champion Sarah Palin, "sleep with guns" after receiving death threats, a BBC interview revealed.

Speaking at their home in Wasilla, Alaska, the couple claimed that Palin and "her whole family" had been the target of threats.

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Former aide rips Palin in leaked book manuscript

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The manuscript opens with an account of Palin sending Bailey a message saying "I hate this damn job" shortly before she resigned as Alaska's governor in July 2009, less than three years into her four-year term. The manuscript goes on for nearly 500 pages, a mixture of analysis, gossip and allegation.

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THE BALLAD OF SARAH PALIN by LADY BUNNY (VIDEO)

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SARAH PALIN A Liberal View (VIDEO)

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Sarah Palin Emerges From Hole, Sees Her Shadow, Says ‘WTF’

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Click to enlarge

Have you been very worried about Alaska’s exurban fame monster Sarah Palin? Don’t worry!

She crawled out of her winter den and saw her reflection in Greta Van Susteren’s plastic jaw, so this means we’ll have six thousand years of nuclear winter once Palin winds up becoming president (of the Breakaway Republic of Wasilla) in 2012.

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Is This the End of Sarah Palin As We Know Her?

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Has Palin finally tarnished her luster with her thoughtless remarks about the Giffords shooting, or will she turn this into yet another opportunity to play the victim?

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Sarah Palin’s Nemesis Hits The Gym And Moose Meat For Playgirl Shoot

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Borat believes that outside of his cow "Elsie" and his sister, Sarah is the hottest woman in Kazakhstan. "After I heard about Sarah and lipstick on a pig, I put lipstick on Elsie", commented Borat

How does Levi Johnston keep to the high-protein diet he needs to prepare for a Playgirl photo shoot?

"Moose meat is very good for you, high in protein and very lean," his trainer, Marvin Jones, tells PEOPLE. "He's an avid hunter, so he has his own."

The 19-year-old father of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's grandchild has adopted a 3,500-calorie low-carb diet as part of a grueling regimen to ready him for next month's photo shoot.

Johnston works out three hours a day in the gym, six days a week, followed by cardio training and then a rest in the sauna, says Jones.

"I'm not trying to give him a body builder's look. He's going to be more toned and more defined," says Jones, 46, who plans on training with him until the first or second week of November. "I'd like to see him with rounder and more muscular shoulders, with a fuller chest. We're going to firm his abs up, [and give him a] smaller waist."

Jones says Johnston is committed to the training sessions, which even caused Johnston get sick during his second week of working out.

"I know that's something he wants to do and we're having fun training," says Jones, who is training him in Anchorage, Alaska. "We're looking forward to revealing all his hard work!"

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Sarah Palin Enters the Fourth Dimension

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Just recently, it was announced that Sarah Palin’s new autobiography “Going Rogue: An American Life” would be coming out several months earlier than scheduled. It was also announced that this still unpublished book has hit number one on the bestseller lists. That’s impressive.

…You do still remember who Sarah Palin is, correct? Of course you do. If you don’t, here’s a magazine cover to jog your memory. It features Mrs. Palin herself, looking all sexxxy:

Hey! Sarah Palin… more popular than halibut! Isn’t that a nice magazine cover? Sure it is. “…But wait,” you’re saying to yourself. “I see all of these words together, but they do not make any sense. …Sarah Palin? Alaska? Governor? …I don’t understand. What the zurg?”

Well, good question, you! Except that “zurg” is not a real word, but I forgive you.

See, that magazine cover above is months old. Sarah Palin used to be the governor of a state called Alaska. Then she quit because the Alaskan wind was messing up her hair. If you don’t believe me, you can look up all of this stuff. “…No… no. I believe you. I think I remember… most of that.”

Sarah Palin is no longer the governor of anything. Instead, she is a mere rumor, a wisp, an idea, a thing floating along on the wind.

She embodies contradiction. She’s one of the most famous women in America, but she’s also one of the most invisible. You’ll notice, for instance, that this entire article about Sarah Palin will not contain a single quote from Sarah Palin. Why?

Because Sarah Palin no longer gives interviews, or talks to the media, or to reporters (even though she’s considering running for President¹ in 2012).

Why doesn’t she talk to the media? Because she hates it and she’s bad at it. Wait. …I’m sorry. I just loused up my metaphor there. Why doesn’t Sarah Palin talk to the media? Because she exists, and yet she does not exist. She is everything… and yet she is nothing.

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Sarah Palin a No-Show in Virginia. Too Busy Making Lots Of Money

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Sarah's Christmas Card Order

After the election last year, Republican Bob McDonnell expected former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin to campaign with him.

In the summer, even after Palin's stunning announcement that she was resigning as governor of Alaska, McDonnell said he would welcome her to Virginia.

This week, McDonnell made it clear that would not happen.

"There was a time earlier on when she was governor when I thought she would come here,'' McDonnell said after a candidates' forum in Loudoun County earlier this week.

"But I think she seems to be busy with books and other things like that. We've still got about 20 different events scheduled down the road and she's not in one of them."

But Palin adviser Meg Stapleton told Politico that her boss offered to help McDonnell. Calls and e-mails to Palin's political action committee were not returned. Her PAC donated $2,500 to McDonnell this summer.

Palin's visits to the state drew enormous, enthusiastic crowds of Republicans last year, but Democrats would have a field day with Palin's arrival if she did come here.

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