Monday, October 26, 2009

How To Be A Patriot And Prove Your Love For The USA


By Chimp

1. Wear clothing with the USA flag on it, like a dress, t-shirt or cap in red, white and blue. A flag lapel pin would top it off nicely.

2. If you have a private home, a US flag should always be visible. If an apartment, a flag should become your drapes.

3. Have a flag on your car, instead of your team banner. A bumper sticker with, “America, love it or leave it” would top it off.

4. Keep a close eye on your neighbors, especially if they are dark-skinnned and wear funny clothes, and report any unusual activities to the police or FBI.

5. Build a bomb shelter in your basement to protect you from the next nuclear attack from Iran or other Muslim countries that hate us for our freedoms.

6. Watch FOX News on a daily basis so you will know the latest terror alert and who America’s enemies are, besides our current president.

7. Send cash donations to Israel so they can protect us from Middle Eastern terrorists by exterminating all Muslims.

8. Actively oppose any new programs proposed by President Obama, no matter how great they sound. He is not one of us.

9. Ask your Christian Church to erect a statue to George W. Bush, as God spoke to him and so, he must be a saint.

10. Support a law that requires all employees to recite the “Pledge of Allegiance to the flag” before beginning their day of work.



jadedj said...

Chimp, what do you suppose is underneath that flag in the last photo?

Chimp said...

You gave me the idea for this post. Thanks.

I believe that's the "Twittering Twat" from Alaska.