"If you were to listen to Ukraine's National Expert Commission for Protecting Public Morality, you'd believe that the Eastern European country's children are under attack from the menace of... American cartoon shows like Spongebob Squarepants and Family Guy that promote the homosexual agenda and the "destruction of the family" — you know, the stuff conservative Christian activists and groups over here in the States complain about on a daily basis (and occasionally proceed to accidentally light a pro-gay company's lawn on fire). The commission is especially concerned with banning the long-running Nickelodeon cartoon Spongebob because they believe (like everyone else) that the titular squeaky-voiced character has a homoerotic relationship with his best friend, a goofy pink starfish named Patrick, with whom the sponge is regularly depicted holding hands...".
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