If Sarah Palin talked like a pirate

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… on today’s International Talk Like a Pirate Day, it might go something like this:

“I am one who, on Talk Like a Pirate Day, which is certainly today in our beloved state of Alaska would be a day where I be saying “aaarrrghh” and shaking my cutlass at that lily-livered Putin rearing his eyepatch over there in Russia where that Obama said where he wouldn’t put missiles, that scurvy son of a Kenyan.

Did ye know ye can see Russia from my crow’s nest?

I also certainly want to preclude that the bilge-sucking Obama should be keelhauled for making old people walk the government death planks, which doesn’t even make sense!

I mean, health care reform will make our country run out of buried treasure except Alaska with its oil, which is buried too and I have the map but it’s different because it’s black.

But I thought I should say before I stop but not quit because I never quit because Americans don’t do that no matter what the hornswoggling media claim that it may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep ye pirate hat down and plod along on your wooden leg and “go with the flow” but I won’t do that.

Avast, only dead landlubbers go with the flow, so later this month I’m weighing anchor with my first mate Todd to hunt for plunder in Hong Kong.

Then we set sail for the White House, which we expect to capture by 2012.

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"You betcha!"

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