Showing posts with label book. Show all posts
Showing posts with label book. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Sarah Palin Enters the Fourth Dimension

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Just recently, it was announced that Sarah Palin’s new autobiography “Going Rogue: An American Life” would be coming out several months earlier than scheduled. It was also announced that this still unpublished book has hit number one on the bestseller lists. That’s impressive.

…You do still remember who Sarah Palin is, correct? Of course you do. If you don’t, here’s a magazine cover to jog your memory. It features Mrs. Palin herself, looking all sexxxy:








Hey! Sarah Palin… more popular than halibut! Isn’t that a nice magazine cover? Sure it is. “…But wait,” you’re saying to yourself. “I see all of these words together, but they do not make any sense. …Sarah Palin? Alaska? Governor? …I don’t understand. What the zurg?”

Well, good question, you! Except that “zurg” is not a real word, but I forgive you.

See, that magazine cover above is months old. Sarah Palin used to be the governor of a state called Alaska. Then she quit because the Alaskan wind was messing up her hair. If you don’t believe me, you can look up all of this stuff. “…No… no. I believe you. I think I remember… most of that.”

Sarah Palin is no longer the governor of anything. Instead, she is a mere rumor, a wisp, an idea, a thing floating along on the wind.

She embodies contradiction. She’s one of the most famous women in America, but she’s also one of the most invisible. You’ll notice, for instance, that this entire article about Sarah Palin will not contain a single quote from Sarah Palin. Why?

Because Sarah Palin no longer gives interviews, or talks to the media, or to reporters (even though she’s considering running for President¹ in 2012).

Why doesn’t she talk to the media? Because she hates it and she’s bad at it. Wait. …I’m sorry. I just loused up my metaphor there. Why doesn’t Sarah Palin talk to the media? Because she exists, and yet she does not exist. She is everything… and yet she is nothing.





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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Sarah Palin To Release her Twits and Rants In "Rogue" Memoir Book

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This Enquirer article is probably more factual than the memoirs she will publish in November



Sarah Palin, last year's Republican vice-presidential candidate who became a figure of global fascination, is to release her memoir just four months after her book deal was announced.

Publisher HarperCollins said Palin's memoir, titled "Going Rogue: An American Life", would be published on Nov. 17 after originally being scheduled for release in spring 2010.

She has not disclosed how much she would be paid by the publisher for her memoir.

During the electoral campaign she was criticised for being inexperienced and for describing herself as a "hockey mom", joking that the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull was lipstick.

The former beauty queen was ridiculed for saying her foreign policy experience was bolstered by Alaska's proximity to Russia across the Bering Strait. Her family also came under scrutiny when her 18-year-old unwed daughter Bristol had a baby.

Palin abruptly resigned as Alaska's governor in July, citing a variety of reasons for quitting - the burden of fighting nearly two dozen ethic charges which she had dismissed as "frivolous", her desire to avoid being perceived as a powerless "lame-duck" governor, and a "higher calling", among others.


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The “higher calling” was the money she needs to make fast (while she’s still infamous) in order to pay for $500,000 in debt.

Hope someone does a fact check on the crap she writes in her memoir.

Many say that Sarah seems to them like George W. Bush in a skirt. Now I know where Bush's speech writers found a part-time gig.

At least this Alaska hockey puck mom gets to shop in New York’s Fifth Avenue for herself instead of letting the Republican Party buy her clothes.





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