Thursday, October 14, 2010

American Butts Grow And Toilet Paper Shrinks

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This was my toilet paper for over 30 years!






By Chimp

I have been using Scott toilet paper for over 30 years. All kinds of fluffy tissue has begged me to change brands but I stuck it out.

This past week, I came home with my shopping and put on a new roll of toilet paper on the holder.

"Something is wrong." I noted, but couldn't quite see what. I looked and looked and finally noticed there was too much "silver" showing on either side of the toilet paper. Reminded me of some public toilets that use 2-inch wide rolls, which I hated.

"They shrunk my toilet paper!", I screamed. After 30 years of happiness they want me to die hating toilet paper.

I went back to the store and compared sizes. I noticed most brands have colluded and shrunk their toilet paper also.

Isn't that like industry price-fixing, which is illegal? Since they all opted to keep the same price but cut the product by about 1/4th. Isn't there a law against this?

I bought another brand that was larger than Scott but still seems less wide than the old paper. Makes me think they've been reducing it a fraction of an inch at a time so we don't notice. Too bad the holders are not able to shrink also.

I sent the following e-mail to Kimberly-Clark, makers of Scott toilet paper:

Subject: Scott toilet paper

Just to let you know that after 30 years of using your toilet paper, I have now started buying toilet paper from manufacturers that use NORMAL SIZE toilet paper and not the smaller toilet paper you are now selling. I hate having to wipe my butt with my hand.


Their "public relations" response (names have been changed):

Dear Chimp,

Thanks for your e-mail about SCOTT® bathroom tissue. We are sorry that you were disappointed with your recent purchase and appreciate the opportunity to respond.

We recently increased the strength of our tissue and aligned the roll width to match other tissue products on the market. SCOTT 1000 bathroom tissue remains committed to always delivering 1000 sheets on each roll, while giving our consumers the quality of product they expect.

We appreciate your interest and would like to send you some cost-saving coupons through the mail. If you are interested, please send us a follow-up e-mail with your mailing address. Thanks again for taking the time to contact us.


Charmin
Consumer Services, Kimberly-Clark Corp.
Lead the world in essentials for a better life.



So, their answer is that they changed because their competition changed. Nothing to do with making a bigger profit on ass-wipes.

Here is a website covering this disaster





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3 comments:

Sunny said...

ALL THE TOILET PAPER HAS BEEN SHRUNK AS OF A YEAR AGO, CHIMP ! I REMEMBER TELLING YOU THIS WHILE I WAS SCREAMING MYSELF,LOL !

I TOLD THE GUY IN THE TOILET PAPER AISLE THEY SHRUNK THE TOILET PAPER! HE SAID, OH THEY DID !

YOUR FAVE BRAND IS JUST NOW CATCHING UP WITH THE REST OF THE BIG CORPORATE CONGLOMERATES.

I LOVE YOUR POST TITLE :)

Chimp said...

Hi Sunny! Since I've been using the same brand, I didn't know until it hit me where it hurts: On my butt!!!

And it's true. They say people are getting fatter and fatter and with the shrunken paper, they can't help but wipe with their hands!!!

First, they started shorting us on the food they put in boxes and jars. Now, my toilet paper???

Molly said...

Haha, I like the title of this post! Thanks for featuring our blog on your site.

I was wondering if you would you like to do a guest post on our blog at Toilet Paper World? Or at least feature the letter sent from Kimberly Clark. Please let us know. You can e-mail me at molly@cicgo.com. Thanks!