Mysterious Millionaire Gives Jan Brewer $1.5M For "Public Speaking" Lessons

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You know what a gentleman does when he turns on his TV and sees a lady in distress, stuttering and struggling with a simple task like reading dumb talking points off of a piece of paper?

He certainly doesn’t go put a mean YouTube up for people to laugh at. No, a true refined individual would see a delicate flower in distress, one who requires assistance; he’ll say, “How can I help?”

And, if he’s the heir to the Mellon dynasty’s banking fortunes, he’ll reach into his desk drawer and write a check with a seven-digit figure on it to send to her, along with a note that says

“I hear those Dale Carnegie courses can really help you out with the public speaking.”

Ha ha, just kidding! Timothy Mellon doesn’t actually care about Jan Brewer’s eloquence. He just wants her to keep deporting the browns.

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