Wednesday, May 26, 2010

When An American Enters A US Airport, He Enters A Foreign Fascist Country

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By Chimp

Once, you, as an American citizen, enter a TSA-governed US airport, you lose all your rights as a member of a Democratic nation.

Do not frown. Do not get upset. Do not act aggressively. Do not raise your voice, or you will feel the full wrath of the minimum-wage unionized TSA workers who are jealous of anyone making more than them, which is everyone who can afford an airline ticket.

These workers will act aggressively and threatening and loud in order to upset you so you will fall in their "terrorist" net. Yes, if you get upset you go on their "TSA Haters" list and you'll be treated worse than a real bomb-toting terrorist every time you enter any US airport.

Don't ask "smart" questions, only basic ones like, "Where can I take a shit?" Ask only what you know the uneducated TSA worker will understand. You speak slightly above their mental range and you become a terrorist.

They will body-scan you and keep a copy of all your physical features in their computer. They will then look at your body during their coffee breaks and comment on your physical appearance, laughing loudly at your sexual inequalities.

During "processing" if the TSA worker can find the dumbest excuse, especially if you are a sexy, attractive female. They will ask you to allow a pat-down, feeling for weapons around your breasts and sexual organs. If you get them really hot, they will ask to do a body cavity search, sticking their latex-covered fingers where even your doctor or your lover may never have been.

If you are a male that upsets the TSA "inspector", he will definitely attempt a cavity search, trying to get his whole hand in there.

You will remain a "prisoner" of this system throughout your flight and deplaning and luggage-claiming until you drive out of the arrival airport.

So, keep your mouth shut, constantly smile and say thank you, even while the fingers are probing your intestines. Next time, if you are not in a rush, take Amtrak or Greyhound.









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