America’s fancy new hundred dollar bills are apparently so hard to actually print that the Federal Reserve has quarantined more than a billion of the new Benjamins within “special vaults” in Fort Worth and D.C.
The screwed-up moneys are the first to feature the signature of Timothy Geithner, so they’re already morally worthless, but that’s actually true of all American cash.
And because nobody knows what’s wrong with the new hundreds, the government says it would take up to thirty years for people (government employees) to go through the stacks of bills and try to (stuff as many as possible into their butts) take out the bad ones.
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