America Finally Safe From Immigrant Children And Gays Thanks To Republicans

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Yesterday, Senate Republicans — the most sexually secure people in the entire world — filibustered a motion to debate the possibility of maybe repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

You were probably too busy having a ham biscuits parade in honor of Lindsey Graham, but did you hear about that “other” thing Senate Republicans stalled, like true defenders of the Constitution?

The (un-American) Dream Act would allow “children of undocumented immigrants to get on a path to citizenship,” and that is just nauseating and makes us want to vomit in our mouths because it is such a bad idea.

And now, thanks to the diligence of Senate Republicans, America is finally safe from the gays and the undocumented babies/future 9/11 plotters.

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