Republicans Want Cheap Health Plan For Poor Dumb Americans

~





Only the rich can afford to be healthy in America, Republicans decide.





Republicans say the Democrats' proposal to overhaul health care is far too complicated, intrusive and expensive and are urging several steps they claim would bring down costs while not greatly expanding government involvement.

********************

Interpretation:

After trillions of dollars are unaccounted in the Pentagon and after invading Iraq and Afghanistan and after giving tax breaks to the wealthiest Americans and after bailing out banks, Wall Street and US car-makers, there is no money left in the budget to take care of the American middle class and poor, say Republicans.





~

People Dying To Go To Walmart

~








In reference to Walmart selling coffins…

Now you have a reason to take your grandpa to Walmart. While you shop, he can try one on and test it for comfort.

Wonder if they give you a warranty in case of leaks. If it leaks, you can return it for an exchange or money-back?

Even the funeral home business is not immune to Walmart’s capitalism.

First, they take out “Dead Peasant Insurance” on all their employees so the employees are worth more to Walmart dead than alive.

Now, their customers are worth more dead, also.





~

Gary Webb on C.I.A. Trafficking of Cocaine

~



On December 10, 2004, he was found dead from two gunshot wounds to the head. Sacramento County coroner Robert Lyons determined that it was suicide.










~

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Santa Claus, Al-Qaeda, Osama bin Laden and Other Fairy Tales

~







Fiction by Chimp


The secret CIA leader of the 9/11 conspiracy, Dr. Fred Dome, is having a chat with his Israeli Mossad counterpart in the New York slaughter, General David Star.

“David, even though I was in the entire planning of 9/11 for over 10 years, I still can’t believe how easy it was to fool the American public into believing that 19 dumb Arabs carried out the complex flying attacks on the Trade Center. Also, that there really exists an all-powerful terrorist group like Al-Qaeda and all run by a non-existent ghost called Osama bin Laden.”

“Well, Dr. Dome, these people do believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, so it wasn’t that hard for them to eat it all up.”

“Our strong ties to the popular Faux News Channel made it that much easier to convince the American sheeple that the Arabs who have never joined other groups could form such an umbrella group as Al-Qaeda.”

“I still believe we could have come up with a better name for this terrorist group, since all Arabs know it’s a big joke on the dumb Americans, since “Al-Qaeda” means “The Toilet”. And what up-and-coming terrorist group would want to be called The Toilet.”

“Yes, you are correct, General. Of course, to tie it all together, those Osama bin Laden tapes and videos we fabricated, in which he admits doing 9/11 and having an Al-Qaeda organization, really did the job.”

“I wish our buddy Osama had really survived past December of 2001 so he could have made original videos. Luckily, the American public does not believe in conspiracies and think all those 9/.11 truthers are bunkers.”

“Well, Doctor, just like we easily convinced the Yankees that Iraq and Afghanistan needed to be attacked, we should be able to convince them to sacrifice their young to invade that only nuclear power in the Middle East, Iran, even if that drunken Texan is no longer the US president, ha, ha, ha.”

“Yes, General, our work is never done.”






~

“9/11” The Beginning Of The New World Order

~




"By tomorrow at 5:20 PM, building seven would be their graveyard. The timers had been set."




Fiction by Chimp

“Finally, just one more day and over 20 years of planning will bring us into complete control of our nation and the world”, thought Dr. Fred Dome.

He was standing in front of a group of 100 men, all chosen over years of exhaustive background personal and psychological search to find the correct patriotic model.

All held very high positions within their fields. All the military services, all the branches of government, all the intelligence services were represented in these 100 men.

Each of these men had specific jobs coming to culmination in just another 12 hours, on the morning of September 11.

The planning had been exhaustive. Many public figures had no idea that they would each play an important part in this world-changing venture.

Dr. Dome represented the CIA and General Star represented Israel’s Mossad and Mr. Gold representing the Pentagon, standing in front of these 100 saviors of the American way of life.

They were meeting for one last time on the non-existent 13th floor of World Trade Center building seven.

They all had dual passports, travel documents and cash on hand to travel to hidden destinations throughout the world. All had access to unlimited wealth in offshore banks.

After this last meeting, they would be taken by helicopters from the roof of this building to various airports throughout the New York City metropolitan area including civilian airports in Long Island, New Jersey and Pennsylvania.

Of course, that’s what they thought. Dome, Star and Gold knew otherwise.

They would never leave the 13th floor of the WTC building seven. By tomorrow at 5:20PM, building seven would be their graveyard. The timers had been set.

As the three secret leaders of the New American Century stood in front of these American martyrs, a completely odorless gas was being discharged by the converted sprinklers in the ceiling of the large room.

The “Three” had special nose breathing apparatus and inoculations to prevent the fate of the “100”.





~

In Afghan fields the poppies grow...

~









In Afghan fields the poppies grow.

Between the crosses.

Row on row.

































~

Google stalks your social circle

~







All in the name of friendship, you understand

Google took its beach towel down to the social networking pool yesterday with the release of its latest Facebook-apeing Web 2.0-stylie search tool.

Mountain View announced a new Google Labs experiment - dubbed “Social Search” - that creepily helps users probe more “relevant public content” from their “broader social circle”.
The company has already been improving search results to make them more personally tailored to an individual surfer’s stalker needs.

“With Social Search, Google finds relevant public content from your friends and contacts and highlights it for you at the bottom of your search results,” said Google in a blog post.

The tool allows users to see search results for a simple query, such as New York, that includes any friends that might have referenced the city in their blog.

Social Search can also be filtered so that only results of content from a person’s “social circle” are shown.

In a move to silence privacy critics of Social Search, Google pointed out that all the information it pools together via the tool was already “published publicly on the web”.

“What we've done is surface that content together in one single place to make your results more relevant,” it said.

Google has stitched a user’s friends and contacts list into a public Google profile, which grabs info from the likes of Twitter. Anyone interested in using the tool needs to first sign up to a Google account - if they don’t have one already, that is.

“If you use Gmail, we'll also include your chat buddies and contacts in your friends, family, and coworkers groups. And if you use Google Reader, we'll include some websites from your subscriptions as part of your social search results,” said the firm.





~

Monday, October 26, 2009

How To Be A Patriot And Prove Your Love For The USA

~




By Chimp


1. Wear clothing with the USA flag on it, like a dress, t-shirt or cap in red, white and blue. A flag lapel pin would top it off nicely.



2. If you have a private home, a US flag should always be visible. If an apartment, a flag should become your drapes.



3. Have a flag on your car, instead of your team banner. A bumper sticker with, “America, love it or leave it” would top it off.



4. Keep a close eye on your neighbors, especially if they are dark-skinnned and wear funny clothes, and report any unusual activities to the police or FBI.



5. Build a bomb shelter in your basement to protect you from the next nuclear attack from Iran or other Muslim countries that hate us for our freedoms.



6. Watch FOX News on a daily basis so you will know the latest terror alert and who America’s enemies are, besides our current president.



7. Send cash donations to Israel so they can protect us from Middle Eastern terrorists by exterminating all Muslims.



8. Actively oppose any new programs proposed by President Obama, no matter how great they sound. He is not one of us.



9. Ask your Christian Church to erect a statue to George W. Bush, as God spoke to him and so, he must be a saint.



10. Support a law that requires all employees to recite the “Pledge of Allegiance to the flag” before beginning their day of work.






~

Seymour Hersh: Military Is Waging War Against The White House

~




MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX


In addition to the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the United States military is also fighting a war against the Obama administration at the White House, Seymour Hersh said in a little-noted speech at Duke University on October 13.

The military is "in a war against the White House -- and they feel they have Obama boxed in," he said.

Hersh, a Pulitzer-prize winning investigative journalist who exposed the My Lai massacre in Vietnam and the Abu Ghraib scandal in Iraq, sees an undercurrent of racism in the Pentagon's dealings with the White House.

"They think he's weak and the wrong color. Yes, there's racism in the Pentagon. We may not like to think that, but it's true and we all know it."

As Neil Offen writes in the Durham Herald Sun:

"A lot of people in the Pentagon would like to see him get into trouble," he said. By leaking information that the commanding officer in Afghanistan, Gen. Stanley McChrystal, says the war would be lost without an additional 40,000 American troops, top brass have put Obama in a no-win situation, Hersh contended.

"If he gives them the extra troops they're asking for, he loses politically," Hersh said. "And if he doesn't give them the troops, he also loses politically."


Hersh considers the worsening situation in Afghanistan and Pakistan as the principal test of the Obama presidency, which will require the cooperation of the top military brass.

Obama must face up to the military, Hersh said. "He's either going to let the Pentagon run him or he has to run the Pentagon." If he doesn't, according to Hersh, "this stuff is going to be the ruin of his presidency."





~

Cream-pie-faced comedian Soupy Sales dies

~







Soupy Sales, 83, a loose-limbed comedian whose goofy skits, slapstick antics and pie-tossing shenanigans made him one of the country's most popular television stars of the 1950s and '60s, died Oct. 22 at a hospice in the Bronx, N.Y.

He had a variety of health problems, but the cause of death was not reported.

Mr. Sales gained early fame in the 1950s as the host of a daytime children's TV show in Detroit and always had a strong following among young people (college kids), who appreciated his groaning puns, silly dances and runaway train of thought.

At various times, he had three live shows on national television, which featured Mr. Sales chatting with puppets and guest stars, mangling the language or making outrageous puns in a segment called "Words of Wisdom" and -- on practically every show -- getting smacked in the face with a cream pie or three.

On his own program, Mr. Sales frequently bantered with stagehands and with a gallery of puppets that included Pookie (a wry, hipster lion), White Fang ("the meanest dog in the United States," who merely grunted expressively and was seen only as a large, furry paw), Black Tooth ("the biggest and sweetest dog in the United States" who also appeared as a furry paw and gave Mr. Sales slurpy, offscreen kisses) and Hobart and Reba (two puppets who lived in a potbellied stove).

Mr. Sales invented such recurring characters as Philo Kvetch, an incompetent private eye, and Peaches, an annoying girlfriend portrayed by Mr. Sales in drag.

His jokes combined Borscht Belt fare with a broad humor that appealed to children:

"Is there any soup on the menu?"

"Yes, but I wiped it off."

"Show me a country that has only pink automobiles . . . and I'll show you a pink carnation."

Critics blasted Mr. Sales for presenting "a mishmash of mediocrity" intended for "kids with low IQs," but his show was undeniably popular and became a favorite of college students and teenagers.

It was something of a romping, vaguely subversive "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" and was even called by a New York Post critic a "phantasmagoria of Dada." His influence can be seen today in the Muppets, the faux-naif irony of Pee-wee Herman and the freestyle dances of comedian and talk-show host Ellen DeGeneres.











~